Costa Rica: He's not a girl, dudes
by evemiliana
Summary: Costa Rica is on his blog trying to explain to his fans that he is a guy, not a girl. Sadly, his twin sister Nicaragua barges in and kind of screws up the whole plan. oneshot. Rated T because of cursing, themes, and leather pants.


_**I decided to write a Costa Rica-centric story. And because it's me and I don't feel depressed right now, we all know it's gonna be humor.**_

_**Warning: This is rated for cursing (because Nica's gonna be in it) possible themes, and leather pants.**_

_**I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT MY OC'S. HETALIA IS OWNED BY SOMEONE WHO ISN'T ME!**_

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><p>Costa Rica sighed. He had been checking his blog and was really annoyed at some of the comments.<p>

Are you a girl?

Hey girly~ you wanna come over to my house?

Why do you wear boys clothes?

Costa Rica's eye twitched. He had no idea why people thought he was a girl. First of all, he quite obviously did not have boobs. Secondly, He had short hair. SHORT HAIR for crying out loud!

And thirdly, He always wore boys' clothes. He never cross-dressed (Unless that one time Panama sedated him and put him in Japanese school girl uniform counted) and he didn't flirt with guys. So why the hell did people think he was a girl?

He decided to get to the bottom of this once and for all. He turned on his webcam.

"Hey everyone. Francisco here" He said with a wave. He smiled happily at the videocam. "I've been asked a lot about my gender. And a lot of people have just assumed that I'm a girl." Costa Rica then proceeded to read a few of the comments. "I've been getting comments like 'Why do you wear boys clothes', 'are you a girl', and 'Why not put on some makeup'. I'm here to clear some stuff up." Costa Rica paused. "First of all, I'm a boy. I thought that the flat chest and short hair gave it away. I wear boys clothes because I am a boy and I don't crossdress. I may like the environment, but I'm not a "crazy environmental chick" as so many of you have called me. And no, I am not gender confused. I can assure you that I do in fact have a di-"

"OI! FRANCISCO!" A rather loud voice yelled as the door was opened. Costa Rica inwardly groaned. He REALLY did not want to deal with Luisa right now.

"Si, hermana?" He asked politely.

"I was wondering if you wanted to- Oh hey, whatcha doin?" Nicaragua asked, looking straight at the webcam.

Costa Rica sweatdropped at how distracted his sister could get. "Well, I was trying to make a new post on my video blog." He explained to his twin.

Nicaragua was still staring into the webcam. "Well, what the hell were you blogging about?" she asked.

Costa Rica looked at her. _Since when does she care about what the hell I do?_ He thought. "Well, a lot of my fans think that I'm a girl" Costa Rica said, mumbling the last two words.

"Que? What was that? They think you're a what?" Nicaragua asked.

"A girl."

"….."

"What?"

Costa Rica soon regretted telling Nicaragua anything when he saw her giggling on the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Pfft, ahahaha! N-No Duh you g-girly dude!" Nicaragua said between fits of laughter.

After recovering from her fit of laughter, Nicaragua got up from the floor and walked over to the webcam.

"W-what are you doing" Costa Rica asked, unsure of what the hell Nicaragua had in her mind.

Nicaragua ignored her twin and was soon in front of the webcam.

"Alright guys." Nicaragua said to the webcam. "I'm his sister Luisa here. And I can assure you my twin is a guy. " Luisa said in a matter-of-fact tone. She then smirked; something that Costa Rica knew meant that he was fucked. "However, I know exactly why you would think he's a girl"

"Luisa, please don't-"

"Fist of all, he has a feminine build-"

"HEY!"

"Don't interrupt me, hermano. I'm making a point. Si, he does have a feminine build." Nicaragua said, motioning to Costa Rica, who was now in the emo corner. "See? If I put a wig on him, then he would look like a girl. In fact, from this angle, he looks like a girl-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Hermano, Please. I bet Inglaterra can hear you from here. Anyway, that's not the only reason." Nicaragua dragged Costa Rica to the webcam. "look, he's got girl eyes"

"H-hey! My eyes don't look girly!"

"Please, hermano. I'm still talking. Anyway, he would totally be a uke if he was gay. Which brings me to my next subject-"

"S-stop it Hermana…" Costa Rica said, starting to blush.

"Stop interrupting! Anyway, the way he acts towards Alfred makes him seem gay. Alfred has even thought he was a girl! Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it gives people the wrong idea."

Costa Rica was now rivaling a tomato while his twin was pointing out everything that made him girly.

"-and lastly, he sometimes acts like a girl in general-"

"I do not!" Costa Rica said, putting his hands on his hips and pouting.

"Yeah, you do. Once, he called me at 12 at night to talk about random crap. And that, mis amigos, is why I believe you would think he is a girl." Nicaragua smirked at the camera and turned off the webcam. She then took the video of her rant out, while her brother looked at her in shock.

"What? You thought that was live?" Nicaragua asked.

"W-well, it was supposed to be…" Costa Rica said, his face still looking really red.

"Hm? Nah, I could tell that you pushed the wrong button on your computer. You just had it record you, not have it do a live show. Seriously, why the hell would I actually do that live? I'm not THAT cruel to you."

Costa Rica looked down at the floor, looking like a scolded child.

Nicaragua smiled a bit. "Don't worry, Costa Rica. You of all people should know I would defend your manliness~"

Costa Rica looked at his twin happily. "Well, it's nice to hear you tell me that." But he then noticed he was talking air. "Hm? Where'd she go?"

HE then heard a noise in his room and a door open. "Oh yeah, I came over to ask if I could borrow your leather pants. You see, I have to go somewhere and I know you think that they looks girly on you so I was gonna ask if I could have them since you don't like them and BAI!"

Costa Rica then heard Nicaragua slam the door shut and heard a picture frame break.

"…..DAMMIT LUISA!"

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><p><em><strong>As you can probably see, I got lazy at the end. And I wanted to include leather pants in there. Now I wonder, why does the animalenvironment activist have the leather pants? I now ponder this. And I might make a story of it later. But not now.**_

_**BAI BAI GUYS~ I hope you enjoyed seeing Nica as the annoying one for once~**_


End file.
